On your wedding day, you and your groom should be free to focus on each other and enjoy every precious minute of this magical day. so, with so much for you to plan, do and think about in the run-up, you'll be in need of some special help and attention before, during and after the wedding. Attendants play an integral part in assisting organizational plans, in paying attention to finer detail and most importantly of all, providing love, friendship, honesty and invaluable support at a crucial time.
Attendants and their duties
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Maid/matron of Honor or Chief Bridesmaid
There are different schools of thought in relation to whether the term is coined correctly as Maid/matron of Honor or Chief Bridesmaid - but essentially they do the same thing, i.e they are the Bride's right-hand-woman! A maid of honor is traditionally a single female, who has not been married whereas the matron of honor is a female who either is, or has been married. In the spirit of being politically correct, Chief Bridesmaid lends itself as a 'covers-all' name, in that it makes no reference to the attendant's marital status. Whichever term you choose to use, whoever takes this role is essentially the main 'attendant' of the Bride. Typically, the role is afforded to an adult, female family member or best friend. The role encompasses traditional duties from before the big
day, on the day and even after the day.
Bridesmaids
Before the day
Assisting the Bride with pre-wedding errands.
Attending dress fittings.
Attending rehearsals
Attending pre-wedding celebration.
On the day
Walking in procession down the aisle, behind the Bride.
Sitting at the Bridal table.
Caring for child attendants.
Helping with practical preparations at the reception.
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Best ManActing as the groom's chief male attendant the best Man assumes responsibility for various organizational aspects of the day, as well as supporting and assisting the Groom. a few of the traditional duties include:-
Before the day
Assisting the Groom with shopping for Morning suit, rings, gifts, etc.
Organize transport for guests from the ceremony to the reception venue. Arranging fittings for other male attendant's suits, delivery and pick-ups.
On the day
assisting the groom in getting ready,(including calming any frayed nerves!)
Drive the Groom to the ceremony location on time
making the first toast to the Bride and Groom.
Making a speech at the Wedding breakfast, including cards and telegrams.
Groomsmen and Ushers
Attending suit fittings.
Attending rehearsals.
Assistance with seating plans.
escorting guests to their seats at the ceremony(Bride:left, Groom: right0
seating the Groom's parents and Bride's mother at the front.
Placing aisle-runner in place, after all of the guests have arrived and before the bride begins her entrance. Taking up the runner at the end.
Guiding the guests out of the ceremony and to the reception.
Escorting the bridesmaids out of the ceremony.
direct guests to the appropriate facilities at the reception.
Dancing with the bridesmaids at the reception.
Flower Girls
Flower girls are usually female child attendants, between the ages of 4 and 10 years.
Their role is to precede the bride, tossing petals in the bride's entrance. this strewing of flowers symbolizes the new and beautiful path ahead for the Bride and her Groom. Brides can choose to have more than one flower girl if they wish.Ring Bearer
A ring bearer is traditionally a male child attendant, between the ages of 6 and 10 years of age. His role is to precede the bride,(and flower girl), carrying a 'symbolic' ring(or rings) on a satin cushion. The ring(s) on a satin cushion. The ring(s) can be the 'real-thing' but it's advised to leave that responsibility to the Best Man...just in case!
Pages and Train Bearers
Most commonly seen at very traditional weddings, Pages are male child attendants, usually between the ages of 6 and 10 years of age. Their principal role is to carry the Bride's train as she walks down the aisle.
Train bearers can be male or female child attendants, in the same age group. Pages and Train
Choosing your Attendants
Depending on the size, style and theme of your wedding, the number of attendants can range from just one person, up to any number of preferred attendants - there really are no rules on this one. But of course, no matter how few or how many people you decide upon, choosing your attendants may feel a bit daunting in terms of the potential upset to friends and relatives in your selection process. It can be difficult to maintain a balance between family/friend loyalties and what you want for your wedding day.
First and foremost, be sure to keep in mind that this is yours and your Groom's big day and not a vehicle for your friends and relatives to realize their own wedding fantasies and/or use it as a gauge as to how important they are to you. So, before you start, it's better to accept that there's a good chance that you might well disappoint someone. if you start from this position, anything less will be a bonus!
Look over the responsibilities for each of the attendant roles that you want to fill and start to work with what's feasible for each of your possible choices, in terms of distance, personlaity and responsibility.
It's no good picking your much-loved cousin Michelle to be your most trusted attendant, if her usual style is to live by the seat-of-her-pants, leaving everything until the last minute and who is likely to spend the day of the wedding surgically attached to the bar!
The same will apply to your Groom's Best Man - although, of course you must allow him to make his own choice.
If not picking a certain relative to be a Maid of Honor/Matron of Honor or Chief Bridesmaid will
create the equivalent of a 'cold-war' within your family, then the urge to give in may just be too much. If that's the case then you may want to dispense of the title altogether and announce that you are just having bridesmaids and employing all their help - that way you can discreetly approach your preferred choice and ask her for some more specialized help and support.
If you have a lot of friends, but cant afford for all of them to be bridesmaids, then pick one and opt for her as your Chief Bridesmaid. Your other option is to get all of your favorite girlfriends together for a night out and tell them that you'd love them to be bridesmaids, but can't afford it - if they'd really like the honor, some of them may offer to pay for their own outfits.
Don't forget to cost in gifts for your attendants into your budget - it's also important to remember to thank them for their hard work and support during the speeches.
Choose children that you know - it might seem like a lovely gesture to pick your second cousin's oh-so-cute 4 year old daughter, but not so cute if she's having the screaming 'abdabs' during the ceremony, because she's suddenly decided she wants to run up and down the aisle.
include children in any rehearsals that take place. Keep parents close, but get the children used to knowing where they need to be on the day. With smaller children, it's a good idea to allow them to sit with their parents during the ceremony.Young children can get overwhelmed easily and very quickly, so be aware of not loading them with too much responsibility. The guidelines regarding attendant ages are only a guide and the maturity and general disposition of the child should be taken into account.
If any of your child attendants get stage fright and want to back out, you MUST let them, no
matter how late in the day. Guilt trips and coercion are unfair and unnecessary - and you'll only end up with a very upset child on the day. Make sure that you have a plan-B, just in case.
Give your child attendants a really special reward and let them know how important they have been to your wedding. If a child has backed out, still reward them for being willing to participate.
Source:Myraid Brides Guide - Advice on planning the perfect wedding(www.myriadbooks.com)
We'll talk about part 2 of this next week...
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Sarah O
Estilo Moda Bridal
Unit 11 JM Farms
Broughton Grounds Lane
Off Newport Road
Milton Keynes
MK16 0HZ
01908925152 07534041173
Email: info@estilomoda.co.uk
Website: www.estilomoda.co.uk
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