Traditions, Roles and Etiquette....2

 
Wedding Traditions
 
Ceremonial Positions
During the ceremony, the bride traditionally stands on the left side of the groom - this originates from the groom needing to leave their sword arm free, to fight off any potential suitors who may wish to vie for the affections of the bride. Oh, if only....

 
Confetti
Before the paper confetti we have today, guests used to throw rice over the bride and groom. This was believed to encourage fertility



Flower Bouquets
Dating back to ancient times, the carrying of pungent herbs and spices was believed to ward off bad luck, evil spirits and illness. Later, in Victorian times, flowers were sent to lovers as messages - each type signifying a different message or meaning.These links were eventually adopted and adapted into the tradition of brides carrying bouquets.
Throwing the bouquet originated in America with the bride turning her back to the gathered female guests and throwing her bouquet in the air. Whoever catches the bouquet is said to be the
next to marry. One word of caution, if you have lots of single women at your wedding be prepared for a scramble! 



Present Giving
Before the age of giving toasters, other household goods and wedding lists guests traditionally bought fruit as gifts for the happy couple as this was believed to encourage fertility.

Something Old, Something new...
"Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue and a silver sixpence in her shoe"

Dating back to Victorian times following this poem is beleived to bring good luck to the bride and groom

Something old...represents the connection to the bride's prior life and her family. Many brides opt to wear something old which has links to her side of the family.

Something new...represents the bride's successful new life ahead with her husband and good fortune. Often the wedding dress is
considered as the 'something new'

Something borrowed...represents the bride's personal support system and is a reminder that her friends and family will be there for her in times of need. This item can be jewellery, a hair accessory
or anything else the bride can wear on her person during the day.

Something blue...represents loyalty and fidelity to her husband dating back to biblical times, blue was the color of purity. Garters are often detailed with blue ribbon - or it can be any other blue item which
the bride can wear.

A silver sixpence in her shoe...represents the wish for happiness and wealth to the bride and her husband.

Threshold Carrying
The tradition of carrying the bride over the threshold was believed to protect the new and innocent bride from evil spirits, which may be creeping around the new home.

Wedding cake
Back in Roman times, the wedding cake was termed as 'the bride's cake' and was ceremonially broken over her head, (charming!). This was to signify the groom's dominance over his new bride.

Obviously, this tradition is a little outdated and today the bride and groom cut the cake together to symbolize their intention to share everything in their future together. Far more acceptable for brides-to-be!

Traditionally the top tier of the cake, (or the fruit cake layer) is kept and saved for the first anniversary.

Wedding Dress
Traditionally, it's believed that the groom should not see the dress before the wedding day otherwise this will bring bad luck. To bring more good luck, he should even refrain from looking at her dress as she walks down the aisle towards him. It is beleived that the bride should discard every pin, when removing her dress and veil, or she will be unlucky.

 
Wedding Favors
The tradition of wedding favors has been around for hundreds of years having now evolved into each
guest receiving a reminder of the day, usually in the form of chocolate or five sugared-almonds representing health, wealth, fertility, happiness and long-life


Wedding Etiquette
Attendants
Don't forget to cost in gifts for your attendants into your budget - it's also important to remember to thank them for their hard work and support during the speeches.

Receiving Line
The receiving line is carried out at the reception venue, and is done either on arrival or before the guests sit down to eat. The traditional order of receiving is as follows
Bride's parents
Groom's parents,Bride and Groom
Chief bridesmaid and Best Man

However , although this is the traditional line-up, some couples opt to receive the guests by themselves

Relatives
The bride's parents

The bride's mother is the last person to be seated before the ceremony begin. The bride's father escorts his daughter down the aisle. Both stand in the receiving line at the reception, with the bride's mother standing first in line.

Old tradition has it that the father of the bride paid for the wedding and reception however now the

cost is usually shared with the groom's parents and bride and groom.

Traditionally the father of the bride dances with her, after her first dance with her new husband.

Traditionally, the groom's parents host the rehearsal dinner. Both are seated just before the bride's mother at the ceremony and stand in the receiving line at the reception.

Speeches
Beginning after the meal, speeches are either loved or loathed by those that have to do them! Traditional order is as follows:-

The bride's father:
Thanking the guests for coming, welcoming his new son-in-law into the family and reminiscing about the bride with fond/funny stories. The speech ends with a toast to the bride and groom.

The groom:
Thanking the bride's father for his speech and the bride's mother for her daughter- and to both for
welcoming him into the family. Thanks and gifts are extended to the best man, bridesmaids, ushers and any other attendants or those who have helped with the organization of the wedding. The groom thanks the guests for their presence and kind gifts and ends by proposing a toast to the bridesmaids.

The bride:
Although not strict tradition, the bride may also stand and speak after her husband.Thanking her parents for their love and support,the groom's family for welcoming her into their family and all that have helped her on the run up to the wedding day.

The best man:
Replying on behalf of the bridesmaids and telling humorous stories about the groom - fondly of course! The best man will read out cards and telegrams from guests who were unable to attend, make a toast to the bride and groom and announce the ceremonial cutting of the cake.




Top Table
Traditionally, the top table is a long table, facing all of the guests. The order usually runs from the left,(facing the table), as follows :-

Chief bridesmaid               Grooms Father       Bride's mother
Groom                                Bride                     Bride's father
Groom's mother                 Best Man

However, some couples choose to keep their respective parents together.

Wedding Breakfast

 Wedding breakfast etiquette states that the male guests should keep their jackets on until the groom removes his own jacket. After the wedding breakfast, it's traditional for the bride and groom to toast their guests as a thank you to all the guests for their love and support in attending the celebration of your marriage. But you don't have to come up with a lengthy rehearsed speech - try reading out a poem together, it can be serious or humorous -  as long as it gets your message across.

 


Wedding Cake
A 'mock' cutting of the cake takes place with the photographer, purely for the official wedding photographs. The actual cutting of the cake takes place after the main course of the wedding breakfast. Reserve some wedding cake for guests who can't attend on the day that way they'll be touched that you were
thinking of them even in their absence.








Source: Myriad Brides Guide - Advice on Planning the Perfect Wedding (www.myriadbooks.com)

(http://guidetopublicwriting.weebly.com/wedding-toasts.html)

Sarah O 

Estilo Moda Bridal

Unit 11 JM Farms

Broughton Grounds Lane

Off Newport Road

Milton Keynes

MK16 0HZ

01908925152  07534041173

Email:  info@estilomoda.co.uk

Website:  www.estilomoda.co.uk

 

Traditions, Roles and Etiquette....1

Attendants

On your wedding day, you and your groom should be free to focus on each other and enjoy every precious minute of this magical day. so, with so much for you to plan, do and think about in the run-up, you'll be in need of some special help and attention before, during and after the wedding. Attendants play an integral part in assisting organizational plans, in paying attention to finer detail and most importantly of all, providing love, friendship, honesty and invaluable support at a crucial time.

Attendants and their duties


Maid/matron of Honor or Chief Bridesmaid

There are different schools of thought in relation to whether the term is coined correctly as Maid/matron of Honor or Chief Bridesmaid - but essentially they do the same thing, i.e they are the Bride's right-hand-woman! A maid of honor is traditionally a single female, who has not been married whereas the matron of honor is a female who either is, or has been married. In the spirit of being politically correct, Chief Bridesmaid lends itself as a 'covers-all' name, in that it makes no reference to the attendant's marital status. Whichever term you choose to use, whoever takes this role is essentially the main 'attendant' of the Bride. Typically, the role is afforded to an adult, female family member or best friend. The role encompasses traditional duties from before the big
day, on the day and even after the day.

Bridesmaids

Before the day
Assisting the Bride with pre-wedding errands.
Attending dress fittings.
Attending rehearsals
Attending pre-wedding celebration.

On the day
 Walking in procession down the aisle, behind the Bride.
Sitting at the Bridal table.
Caring for child attendants.
Helping with practical preparations at the reception.

Best Man
Acting as the groom's chief male attendant the best Man assumes responsibility for various organizational aspects of the day, as well as supporting and assisting the Groom. a few of the traditional duties include:-

Before the day
Assisting the Groom with shopping for Morning suit, rings, gifts, etc.
 Organize transport for guests from the ceremony to the reception venue. Arranging fittings for other male attendant's suits, delivery and pick-ups.

On the day
assisting the groom in getting ready,(including calming any frayed nerves!)
Drive the Groom to the ceremony location on time
making the first toast to the Bride and Groom.
Making a speech at the Wedding breakfast, including cards and telegrams.

Groomsmen and Ushers

Assisting the Groom and best man with errands before the wedding.
Attending suit fittings.
Attending rehearsals.
Assistance with seating plans.
escorting guests to their seats at the ceremony(Bride:left, Groom: right0
seating the Groom's parents and Bride's mother at the front.
Placing aisle-runner in place, after all of the guests have arrived and before the bride begins her entrance. Taking up the runner at the end.
Guiding the guests out of the ceremony and to the reception.
Escorting the bridesmaids out of the ceremony.
direct guests to the appropriate facilities at the reception.
Dancing with the bridesmaids at the reception.

Flower Girls
Flower girls are usually female child attendants, between the ages of 4 and 10 years.
Their role is to precede the bride, tossing petals in the bride's entrance. this strewing of flowers symbolizes the new and beautiful path ahead for the Bride and her Groom. Brides can choose to have more than one flower girl if they wish.

Ring Bearer
A ring bearer is traditionally a male child attendant, between the ages of 6 and 10 years of age. His role is to precede the bride,(and flower girl), carrying a 'symbolic' ring(or rings) on a satin cushion. The ring(s) on a satin cushion. The ring(s) can be the 'real-thing' but it's advised to leave that responsibility to the Best Man...just in case!

Pages and Train Bearers
Most commonly seen at very traditional weddings, Pages are male child attendants, usually between the ages of 6 and 10 years of age. Their principal role is to carry the Bride's train as she walks down the aisle.

Train bearers can be male or female child attendants, in the same age group. Pages and Train

bearers can be younger, but it's important to remember that carrying a train, without either tripping or becoming entangled in it, may not be that easy for anyone younger than 6! It's often a good idea to have 2 children holding the train.

Choosing your Attendants
Depending on the size, style and theme of your wedding, the number of attendants can range from just one person, up to any number of preferred attendants - there really are no rules on this one. But of course, no matter how few or how many people you decide upon, choosing your attendants may feel a bit daunting in terms of the potential upset to friends and relatives in your selection process. It can be difficult to maintain a balance between family/friend loyalties and what you want for your wedding day.

First and foremost, be sure to keep in mind that this is yours and your Groom's big day and not a vehicle for your friends and relatives to realize their own wedding fantasies and/or use it as a gauge as to how important they are to you. So, before you start, it's better to accept that there's a good chance that you might well disappoint someone. if you start from this position, anything less will be a bonus!

Making Your choice
Look over the responsibilities for each of the attendant roles that you want to fill and start to work with what's feasible for each of your possible choices, in terms of distance, personlaity and responsibility.

It's no good picking your much-loved cousin Michelle to be your most trusted attendant, if her usual style is to live by the seat-of-her-pants, leaving everything until the last minute and who is likely to spend the day of the wedding surgically attached to the bar!

The same will apply to your Groom's Best Man - although, of course you must allow him to make his own choice.

Pick an adult you can rely on for your Maid of Honor/Matron of Honor or Chief Bridesmaid. You'll need this person to be level headed, honest, organized and practical - as well as someone who will stay calm and be able to extend reassurance and support if you're having a 'wobbly' moment. A maternal instinct will also be valuable if you're having child attendants

If not picking a certain relative to be a Maid of Honor/Matron of Honor or Chief Bridesmaid will
create the equivalent of a 'cold-war' within your family, then the urge to give in may just be too much. If that's the case then you may want to dispense of the title altogether and announce that you are just having bridesmaids and employing all their help - that way you can discreetly approach your preferred choice and ask her for some more specialized help and support.

If you have a lot of friends, but cant afford for all of them to be bridesmaids, then pick one and opt for her as your Chief Bridesmaid. Your other option is to get all of your favorite girlfriends together for a night out and tell them that you'd love them to be bridesmaids, but can't afford it - if they'd really like the honor, some of them may offer to pay for their own outfits.

Don't forget to cost in gifts for your attendants into your budget - it's also important to remember to thank them for their hard work and support during the speeches.

Tips for Choosing Child Attendants
Choose children that you know - it might seem like a lovely gesture to pick your second cousin's oh-so-cute 4 year old daughter, but not so cute if she's having the screaming 'abdabs' during the ceremony, because she's suddenly decided she wants to run up and down the aisle.

include children in any rehearsals that take place. Keep parents close, but get the children used to knowing where they need to be on the day. With smaller children, it's a good idea to allow them to sit with their parents during the ceremony.

Young children can get overwhelmed easily and very quickly, so be aware of not loading them with too much responsibility. The guidelines regarding attendant ages are only a guide and the maturity and general disposition of the child should be taken into account.

If any of your child attendants get stage fright and want to back out, you MUST let them, no
matter how late in the day. Guilt trips and coercion are unfair and unnecessary - and you'll only end up with a very upset child on the day. Make sure that you have a plan-B, just in case.

Give your child attendants a really special reward and let them know how important they have been to your wedding. If a child has backed out, still reward them for being willing to participate.

Source:Myraid Brides Guide - Advice on planning the perfect wedding(www.myriadbooks.com)

We'll talk about part 2 of this next week...

(http://guidetopublicwriting.weebly.com/wedding-toasts.html)

Sarah O    

Estilo Moda Bridal

Unit 11 JM Farms

Broughton Grounds Lane

Off Newport Road

Milton Keynes

MK16 0HZ

01908925152  07534041173

Email:  info@estilomoda.co.uk

Website:  www.estilomoda.co.uk